Adventures of the Zoid Pilot (Part 1)

The last time I got this drunk, things ended very badly, as I woke up with both metallic gold hair and 3rd degree burns, and resembled one of those golden android fellas who piloted the “Zoids” toys in the early eighties (younger readers might want to scan Wikipedia at this juncture). Anyhow more on that later in part 2:

At the last cash game, I made the inspired decision as part of my new healthier living drive to drink wine, instead of beer. Unfortunately, when it comes to wine and poker, I find it very hard to keep track of how drunk I am and tend to overdo it. As a result, I went from merry, to drunk with patchy memory, to paralytic with complete memory loss. The evening ended with my being discovered “au naturel” by the Misses on the landing unconscious, with a big gash across my top lip. Having been assisted into bed, I promptly fell out of it twice in the first ten minutes. I wasn’t flavour of the month as you can imagine.

In view of the above, some of the hands I played have some incomplete information, but below is how it panned out:

Bear in mind this is a £1/£1 no-limit game (!)

Hand1
Ioannis raises to £4
2 other callers, I call on button with QT
Flop arrives Q, J, 8 giving me top pair + gutshot
Checked round, I bet £15.
Ioannis calls.
Turn is a blank and we go check/check
River is a 9 filling my straight
Check, I bet £20 and Ioannis check raises me to £50. I suddenly realise that KT for the open ended on the flop is pretty likely, so I grudgingly call and lose to the higher straight.

Hand2
Stradders: £1/£1/£2/£4/£8
Baron makes it £25 blind
I move all in with AJ for £120ish
Baron calls with JT and I win.

A few hours later…

Hand 2A (as related to me by some readers)
I’m in the BB, Baron on the button.
Couple of limpers, before the Baron knocks it up to £3 (ie effectively limping but juicing up the pot)
6 to the flop, £18 pot

Flop: 7 6 5 rainbow

SB checks, I bet £20 with top pair and up-and-down, fLuke dwells and passes, Nemo calls, Ioannis folds, Baron calls

Turn: (7 6 5) 8 (Bingo. but I think there may be 2 flush draws on the board now)

I bet £75 to price out the flush draws

Nemo folds, Baron thinks and then throws a green stack over the line, effectively putting you me all-in.

I dwell and look at him, look at the board. Baron is very capabale of semi bluffing here with the flush draws, surely he didn’t call me with a gutshot?

Anyway, I hiccup and manage to get out: “Well if you’ve got the 9 you’ve got me” and call. It is a big pot - about £800 iirc

The Baron has 10 9o for the absolute nuts v. my low straight and I am dead to a 9

I slam the table and get up. Huge Tilt. Apparently I spent the best part of the next 15 minutes muttering to myself, slamming my fist into my pam=lm and pacing up and down the mezz, threatening to leave. Finally, I bought in for £300 and sat down again, muttering and fist slamming unabated. I’m glad I did as it led to a phoenix-like resurrection……

Hand3
I flop bottom pair on an all heart board. Nemo moves all in on the flop and I put him on the bare ace of hearts and make a crazy call. He does indeed have the single heart, but I hold up to get to £750 (although still in the hole). Not a smart play by me there as he has overs as well.

Hand4
Fluke limps for £1, Nemo makes it £25, pssibly one caller and I make it £200 with QQ. Fluke pushes for £600 and I have to dwell. I find the call and he has 88, and the board runs out XXXXX to give me a monster stack.

Memory going…but I cover everyone at this point.

Hand5
I raise with JJ, and lost a big pot to Nemo, after we get it all in on an unknown flop and I lose to a straight.

Hand6
I raise with unknown cards, and lost a big pot to The Baron, after we get it all in on an unknown flop. The unknown river means I lose to an unknown holding.

Hand7
I lose a big pot against an unknown opponent, raising unknown cards, and getting it all in on the flop. My unknown holding, beat’s unknown’s unknown holding. After doing a wallet audit of both money and IOUs, I appear to have won in the region of £650.

If any of the guys are reading, feel free to put any hands that occurred in the comments.

Zoid story in the next posting.